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sanfrancis-co-uk 5:38 Fri Oct 2
What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

Day 4 tomorrow.

Don’t actually feel that bad tbh,just a bit heavy.

bruuuno 11:36 Tue Oct 6
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

Duffster = the human owl

Darlo Debs 1:57 Tue Oct 6
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

Given the chouce of yakult or the shits i'd hole myself up.in the loo for a week.with a good book. That stuff is foul


Anyway not a problem you.lot will have but after giving birth and needing many stitches but also losing a lot of blood i was given iron tablets which the health visitor then told me not to take as they make you constipated. The idea of bursting the stitches made me too scared to crap anyway and was bunged up.for a week.

nychammer 1:48 Tue Oct 6
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

I was in the Philippines for the first time and expecting travelers guts but actually went a week with hide nor hair of a bowel movement. Trouble is I let my guard down and I suspect it was the summer rolls in a Korean Restaurant (probably lettuce washed in the local water) had me on my toes for the following week with the opposite. If travelling take Ecce Flora or Yakult to keep your guts from going to either extreme whilst you are away.

only1billybonds 1:41 Tue Oct 6
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

duffster.

You dont have much luck with the shits do you?

I remember your hilarious account of your time in India,one for the WHO hall of fame.

duffster 1:34 Tue Oct 6
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

Anyway, back to shit stories..

Electric Retro-pants 1:24 Tue Oct 6
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

2 miles.

Love my fibre...

Joe C 6:24 Mon Oct 5
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

A few years ago I had constipation for the first and, so far, only time. Reached 8 days taking all kinds of laxatives and softeners etc. Thoroughly miserable by the end.

Was on a hop-on/hop-off bus tour in Malta when things budged. Ridiculous that I’d spent 8 days trying to get it out, but had to spend 20 mins holding it all in until I got to a toilet.

The only poo I’ve ever rated 11/10

On The Ball 5:50 Mon Oct 5
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

duffster 1:19 Sun Oct 4

Bloody hell, that is some story! That's truly grim and a horrible thought.

On The Ball 5:49 Mon Oct 5
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

When I broke my leg a few years ago I was in hospital for a week. I went once in that time as I hated shitting into a cardboard pot while a chap stood outside the curtain waiting for me to do it. Grim.

Helmut Shown 5:25 Mon Oct 5
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

Six days when i was in hospital with double pneumonia earlier this year

mashed in maryland 2:03 Mon Oct 5
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

When I was doing a strictish keto diet it was about once every 3-4 days. Didn't feel bunged up or anything. Stools just slipped out easily as well with zero wiping. Was absolutely surreal at first, totally normal with low carb diets though. Some people on forums and fb groups on the subject reckon they only go once a week if not less.

sanfrancis-co-uk 5:29 Mon Oct 5
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

I shat about 8 times about 1 hour after posting this.The weight loss doesn’t suit me.

duffster 9:36 Sun Oct 4
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

So, just got out of hospital and been on codeine for a few days.. Its happening again! Or not.

duffster 1:26 Sun Oct 4
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

Happy birthday old man!

Hammer and Pickle 1:23 Sun Oct 4
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

This is probably the first WHO post I can't read to the end as I'm cracking up too much.

Take a bow (oh dear) duffster son!

duffster 1:21 Sun Oct 4
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

licked, not locked. Doh

duffster 1:19 Sun Oct 4
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

So about 10years ago i was living in Barcelona and one day had been day drinking with some friends. By late afternoon was extemely drunk and started weaving home.
Now I had skipped breakfast and lunch, apart from copious amounts of booze, and stopped into a little tienda to get some snackage. I decided on 2 big bags of pumpkin seeds. They come in their salty white shells and usually you kind of suck the shell then split it open in your mouth, eat the seed, then spit out the shell.
However, these seed pods were hardly salty at all and incredibly creamy. In fact they were fucking delicious, the best i'd ever had. I wolfed down the whole half kilo. And then tucked into the second bag.
This was a terrible, terrible mistake.
The next day I went for my normal 8 o clock poo. Felt a wave, but nothing. Didn't think too much of it. But cooked a delicious fish curry for dinner, really spicy.
Next day, went for the 8 o clock. Kind of felt a wave but again, nada.
This isn't right, I thought to myself, just a kind of empty concrete sensation.
Next day, a mild panic was setting in and I gingerly tried to push one out.
Apart from a distinctly fishy teaspoon of gravy , nothing doing. My heart was racing in fear now, but I decided to be the middle aged wanker I am and ignore it.
Day 5.
Only one course of action was apparent to me, and that was the hooky index finger up the bum to get it started and unplugged. I abandoned the toilet altogether and squatted down in the bath, locked my finger, (oh yes i did) and went for it
To my horror, even though I can say with certainty, my bumhole was well dilated as I attempted to push at the same time, my damp finger encountered, only what I can describe as a very stiff, extremely spiky, expertly packed, thatched roof. Solid, like a stick wall.
Impenetrable. I think I squeaked. Maybe even shrieked. What could I do? The hospital wasn't happening. I panicked and jabbed at it a few times in vain. The roof was not for entering. Now I knew constipation can kill and as a fairly well endowed hypochondriac, I felt the fear. It literally made me swoony.
I composed myself, shampooed my finger, did my thumb for moral support, and coming in from the back rim, decided my virginity was going.
Then next minutes were agony but i managed to pluck out a few inches of the sharp undigested shells, blood and fish curry juice accompanied it all.
It took 3 more days to finally clear it all. And afterwards I couldn't sit for a week.
Anyway, if ever u are pissed don't eat 2 bags of unshelled pumpkin seeds.
Haven't touched them since.

Hammer and Pickle 10:04 Sat Oct 3
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

About 2 seconds with the POO FLU

bruuuno 10:01 Sat Oct 3
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

^whole

bruuuno 10:01 Sat Oct 3
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

I ate a while box of fruit and fibre once when I was stoned as a teenager. You’d think it’d make me shit but it bunged and me up for a whole week I didn’t shit. I was a skinny bastard too and have no idea where it all went during that week

Mex Martillo 10:32 Sat Oct 3
Re: What’s the longest you’ve gone without a dump?

That’s a serious business, it can result in death, especially in old people that don’t move about much.
I recommend eating a lot of oranges.

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